Hi,
My name is Armen. I take people on Blind Walks, among many other things. It's simple. Take turns being led blindfolded...in public. Talk about it. Right about it on this blog.
I do it, because I love connecting with people. I love being intimate with people. I love the conversation. The feeling. I love what not seeing helps me see. I love holding someone else's well being in my hands. And turning over my safety to them. I'm always looking for more people to have this experience with.
To read what people have said, scroll down.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Monday, December 28, 2009
9 Into the Light...
Well Armen, that was an experience like I've never had before. On a full belly of Indian food we went out into the light on a beautiful day, only to have it taken away. Blindfolded, you spun me into a whirlwind until I thought about painting the sidewalk with masala and rice... Reoriented, but still blind, I took a step. Then another. Not knowing where I'm going one bit. But your reassuring hand in mine made me feel safe... And then the hand went away. On my own now, with little nudges from the back and underarm I gained a sense off false independence. Left to myself for 10 seconds, you saw me climb a banister, hit my head (which still hurts) turn around, and bang my knee into a bike rack. Thanks! Head in hand now, I needed guidance... Oh, how much power you held after I lost the use of just one sense. I mean I could smell, taste, touch, and hear. But I couldn't get ANYWHERE without you. This fascinated me. The trust that I gave you. My life was truly in your hands. Crossing streets. Buses whizzing by. Teeter tottering around fountains.
What fascinated me even more, perhaps because I trusted you already, was that without sight, I lost my overactive self consciousness. I usually hate being a public spectacle, but without so much as being able to see the people laughing at me, it didn't matter one bit. I think that this type of immersion into society could prove very beneficial in my growth process. I would love to do this again soon with added elements.
In a safe environment, you left me on my own to explore. I felt silly, like I was experiencing some kind of light deprivation hallucination, seeing beams flash before my closed eyelids... Pawing at the air, they disappeared. After being unblindfolded, I looked down to see the lights in the sidewalk. What a trip. What was even more of a trip was looking around. All of the detail of a modern metropolis was brilliant after 2 hours in the dark. Truly amazing what sense deprivation can bring about an appreciation for.
Onto the guiding side of things, I'd have to say I wasn't that great at showing you the way. Stumble after stumble, laugh after laugh, I realized that someone giving you their life and well-being in your hands is kinda difficult. I can't say that you enjoyed the toe stubs either. But hey, it's all part of learning. I was glad to experience the concepts of trust and trustworthiness today. Thank you for spending the time with me to do so. I hope to do it again.
-Ben Browner,
age 24
Seattle, WA
Response...
Dear Ben,
when we walked people weren't laughing at you. They were smiling, warm smiles. Like people smile at a baby. Everywhere we went. When we crossed the highway on the overpass, there were beautiful images all around. Strange clouds. Breath taking sunset. I wanted you to see. I didn't know how to translate the experience. And your safety demanded most of my energy.
Like a reckless child you were. Magnetically finding the sharpest edges. The one person sitting on a bench. The ledge that would have you tripping into a fountain. And you plowed your way through. Without concern. Which showed me. There is a warrior there. I felt like a father, constantly on alert. For you had this talent. Of getting into trouble. You moved by your own rhythm. There was no curbing that. Which tells me, you are a revolutionary.
You listened. And responded to my cues. Which tells me. You listen from the body.
When you started skipping, I wanted to boost you up. So you could jump higher. Really let it go. There were many times when I wanted to capture the scene on camera. But you were too active, too tactile, too daring, to give me time. Don't ever stop being those things.
As for me, I didn't mind the trips and stumbles when I was blind. There was one moment. When you had me climb onto something. And when I was atop, you pushed me, as if you were pushing me off a cliff. In that moment, I had a flash. A memory. Of being a soldier. A prisoner of war. Blindfolded. Getting thrown into a ditch. Execution style. I remember the feeling. Inside of me. A feeling of surrender and defiance. Surrender for not being able to change the situation. And defiance for having my spirit taken. And I remembered the countless times. When I was growing up. I had to endure humiliation and harassment from kids who were so angry and wounded themselves inside. And picked me as a target, because I stood out the most, and had the least amount of brothers and sisters, metaphorically speaking.
Of course in reality, your little nudge didn't take me anywhere but one step forward. However, in that moment. It was war! And I prepared myself to take a beating. The way only a warrior can.
When I was blind, I felt I saw your trickster self. And I say, go ahead. Pull your pranks. The world needs change. You are a gift in my life. A gift. And I hope we play. For a long, long time.
Thank you for being with me in this way...
Armen, 31
Seattle, WA
What fascinated me even more, perhaps because I trusted you already, was that without sight, I lost my overactive self consciousness. I usually hate being a public spectacle, but without so much as being able to see the people laughing at me, it didn't matter one bit. I think that this type of immersion into society could prove very beneficial in my growth process. I would love to do this again soon with added elements.
In a safe environment, you left me on my own to explore. I felt silly, like I was experiencing some kind of light deprivation hallucination, seeing beams flash before my closed eyelids... Pawing at the air, they disappeared. After being unblindfolded, I looked down to see the lights in the sidewalk. What a trip. What was even more of a trip was looking around. All of the detail of a modern metropolis was brilliant after 2 hours in the dark. Truly amazing what sense deprivation can bring about an appreciation for.
Onto the guiding side of things, I'd have to say I wasn't that great at showing you the way. Stumble after stumble, laugh after laugh, I realized that someone giving you their life and well-being in your hands is kinda difficult. I can't say that you enjoyed the toe stubs either. But hey, it's all part of learning. I was glad to experience the concepts of trust and trustworthiness today. Thank you for spending the time with me to do so. I hope to do it again.
-Ben Browner,
age 24
Seattle, WA
Response...
Dear Ben,
when we walked people weren't laughing at you. They were smiling, warm smiles. Like people smile at a baby. Everywhere we went. When we crossed the highway on the overpass, there were beautiful images all around. Strange clouds. Breath taking sunset. I wanted you to see. I didn't know how to translate the experience. And your safety demanded most of my energy.
Like a reckless child you were. Magnetically finding the sharpest edges. The one person sitting on a bench. The ledge that would have you tripping into a fountain. And you plowed your way through. Without concern. Which showed me. There is a warrior there. I felt like a father, constantly on alert. For you had this talent. Of getting into trouble. You moved by your own rhythm. There was no curbing that. Which tells me, you are a revolutionary.
You listened. And responded to my cues. Which tells me. You listen from the body.
When you started skipping, I wanted to boost you up. So you could jump higher. Really let it go. There were many times when I wanted to capture the scene on camera. But you were too active, too tactile, too daring, to give me time. Don't ever stop being those things.
As for me, I didn't mind the trips and stumbles when I was blind. There was one moment. When you had me climb onto something. And when I was atop, you pushed me, as if you were pushing me off a cliff. In that moment, I had a flash. A memory. Of being a soldier. A prisoner of war. Blindfolded. Getting thrown into a ditch. Execution style. I remember the feeling. Inside of me. A feeling of surrender and defiance. Surrender for not being able to change the situation. And defiance for having my spirit taken. And I remembered the countless times. When I was growing up. I had to endure humiliation and harassment from kids who were so angry and wounded themselves inside. And picked me as a target, because I stood out the most, and had the least amount of brothers and sisters, metaphorically speaking.
Of course in reality, your little nudge didn't take me anywhere but one step forward. However, in that moment. It was war! And I prepared myself to take a beating. The way only a warrior can.
When I was blind, I felt I saw your trickster self. And I say, go ahead. Pull your pranks. The world needs change. You are a gift in my life. A gift. And I hope we play. For a long, long time.
Thank you for being with me in this way...
Armen, 31
Seattle, WA
Sunday, December 20, 2009
8 Traveling by Touch
If you didn't invite me I probably never would have gone for it, even though I really wanted to. I decided constant touch was the best way to guide if I couldn't be verbal. But, as we discussed, I had to balance between being oppressively in control and keeping the experience free-flowing. If anything, though, I wanted you to feel safe. This was excellent exercise for both my body and spirit at once. I was fully willing to trust you when I was blind, but I also found it interesting that I needed to deeply trust myself when you were blind. It was such an engaging chore to guide you. I easily lost track of time when I had to see for two. As soon as I was blind I felt we were constantly walking toward a cliff. But we went through a wormhole instead. I walked for some time, but I felt no real shift across space. Between putting the blindfold on in the greenhouse and taking it off at your door, everything happened on the other side of reality. I'm very glad to have been liberated from my assumptions and constructions of the world when you took up the chore of guiding. I was a kid again, waiting to see where we were going and how we would get there and what it would be like once we did. I want to keep seeing the world as I did when I couldn't see it. I will try to keep feeling it as I did when I led you.
Jeremy Horlacher, 30
Seattle, WA
Response...
You were like the ocean to me. Blue. Vast. Depth uncharted. There was a quiet mist around you. A haze that caused me to conclude that you feel and think vastly. Looking, liquid. Like the ocean, at every crevice of this life space continuum. I wondered if your silence was the choice of shyness, or the choice of keeping it in the realm of the sea. Regardless, I wanted to see, through your eyes. To see what it looked like to you.
Had you not revealed, that you wanted to go on this walk but couldn't ask, I wouldn't now have the courage to begin asking more people to go. Wondering who else might be really wanting, but shy. For me that's big, as I lived so much of my life feeling uncomfortable asking people to be with me in some way. You opened my eyes like that.
And thank you for taking me to the botanical gardens. For introducing me to another safe haven in the city. To sit, and touch, and commune with my plant friends, and rest my sometimes weary bones. Our walk was sweet to me. Like the kaleidoscope view of the sea, vast and blue, on a breezy summer day. Knowing, there is depth and strangeness lurking underneath the skin. Waiting for it to emerge.
Sacred.
Armen, 31
Seattle, WA
Jeremy Horlacher, 30
Seattle, WA
Response...
You were like the ocean to me. Blue. Vast. Depth uncharted. There was a quiet mist around you. A haze that caused me to conclude that you feel and think vastly. Looking, liquid. Like the ocean, at every crevice of this life space continuum. I wondered if your silence was the choice of shyness, or the choice of keeping it in the realm of the sea. Regardless, I wanted to see, through your eyes. To see what it looked like to you.
Had you not revealed, that you wanted to go on this walk but couldn't ask, I wouldn't now have the courage to begin asking more people to go. Wondering who else might be really wanting, but shy. For me that's big, as I lived so much of my life feeling uncomfortable asking people to be with me in some way. You opened my eyes like that.
And thank you for taking me to the botanical gardens. For introducing me to another safe haven in the city. To sit, and touch, and commune with my plant friends, and rest my sometimes weary bones. Our walk was sweet to me. Like the kaleidoscope view of the sea, vast and blue, on a breezy summer day. Knowing, there is depth and strangeness lurking underneath the skin. Waiting for it to emerge.
Sacred.
Armen, 31
Seattle, WA
Monday, November 30, 2009
7 Blind leading the Blinder
Why I did it I don't really know. It could have been to collect another story that I could impress some girl at a bar or on a bus or at a party with. Maybe it was because I was truly looking for some sort of spirtual experience that would rescue me from at best, a dry life of boredom and at worse hell fire. Maybe I just liked Armen alot and wanted to hang out with him, but for whatever reason when he asked me if I wanted to do a blind walk with him I said yes without hesitation. We were to meet on the Monday after Thanksgiving under a message board sign for a community college on a typical Seattle day. I arrived 15 minutes early because I was on vacation and had nothing else to do that day but meet Armen. I passed the time by reading the forth Harry Potter book, the only one I had passed over in the seven book series. I just coulden't wait to find out what would happen to Harry and Hermonie so I just watched the fourth movie, read the last chapter of the book and moved on to the fifth story. My life has since slowed down enough that I have decided that the fourth book was written for a reason and I should read it. So there I was reading Harry Potter waiting for Armen in the cold.
Armen and I had met twice before. The first time we met I read him some of my poetry and he told me about his dreams, we became friends. The second time we met Armen eloquently explained his problems with the health care system and I disagreed with him, so we argued alot. It was fun both times.
He walked across the street, right on time. I smiled and gave him a casual wave. He told me that we would each get a chance to be the blind and the blinder and that I could pick who would go first. I went first because that's the kind of guy I am. Armen blinded me at a park next to a large fountain because I like the sound of water and that's where I most prefered to be blinded. After about five minutes of being led gingerly through the park I told Armen about my time working with children who are blind. I told him that it was strange to be so out of control.
He took me to Seattle University and said we were going to have an adventure. I perked up, "whoa an adventure" I said with a grin. "Let's see if you can engage someone in conversation while your blind." Armen said.
"I dunno if I can do that without seeing, point me in the direction of people who are sitting down and are happy."
Armen never found people who were sitting down but we did find people who were happy. Pleanty of happy people, all female though. I asked one of them if she thought, me going about as a blind person was insulting to blind people. She said no. She sounded beautiful. I'm sorry I missed seeing her face.
Armen walked me deeper and deeper into the school. People opened doors for us as we went into warm, sometimes noisy sometimes quiet buildings. I know this because Armen said "Thank you" a lot. We went on an elevator. It was fun. I tried petting a puppy I couldn't see. The puppy rejected me, not letting me pet it. But it was okay because that was fun too. After about 40 minutes of walking about Armen restored my sight. I could see again. But when I opened my eyes I found my self in a part of Seattle I had never been before. I didn't know how to get back and Armen, my friend and guide was about to lose his sight for the temporary foreseeable future. Would we be lost forever? I tried heading to the first major street to get my barrings but found my self till lost. Armen frequently tripped over cracks and steps in the side walk because I was trying to figure out where I was and I'm horrible at multi tasking. Armen tock it well, he wasn't injured. After 20 minutes of walking in circles I finally told Armen where I wanted to go, a favorite coffee shop of mine. He remembered where it was from the time when he could see and offered to help me find it. So with me giving him mostly accurate discriptions of the streets and landmarks we passed Armen the blind man, led me the blinder man to his favorite coffee shop. Where we shared tea, talked about God and celebrated our sight.
Jasen Frelot, 24
Seattle Wa.
From LA, Ca.
Armen and I had met twice before. The first time we met I read him some of my poetry and he told me about his dreams, we became friends. The second time we met Armen eloquently explained his problems with the health care system and I disagreed with him, so we argued alot. It was fun both times.
He walked across the street, right on time. I smiled and gave him a casual wave. He told me that we would each get a chance to be the blind and the blinder and that I could pick who would go first. I went first because that's the kind of guy I am. Armen blinded me at a park next to a large fountain because I like the sound of water and that's where I most prefered to be blinded. After about five minutes of being led gingerly through the park I told Armen about my time working with children who are blind. I told him that it was strange to be so out of control.
He took me to Seattle University and said we were going to have an adventure. I perked up, "whoa an adventure" I said with a grin. "Let's see if you can engage someone in conversation while your blind." Armen said.
"I dunno if I can do that without seeing, point me in the direction of people who are sitting down and are happy."
Armen never found people who were sitting down but we did find people who were happy. Pleanty of happy people, all female though. I asked one of them if she thought, me going about as a blind person was insulting to blind people. She said no. She sounded beautiful. I'm sorry I missed seeing her face.
Armen walked me deeper and deeper into the school. People opened doors for us as we went into warm, sometimes noisy sometimes quiet buildings. I know this because Armen said "Thank you" a lot. We went on an elevator. It was fun. I tried petting a puppy I couldn't see. The puppy rejected me, not letting me pet it. But it was okay because that was fun too. After about 40 minutes of walking about Armen restored my sight. I could see again. But when I opened my eyes I found my self in a part of Seattle I had never been before. I didn't know how to get back and Armen, my friend and guide was about to lose his sight for the temporary foreseeable future. Would we be lost forever? I tried heading to the first major street to get my barrings but found my self till lost. Armen frequently tripped over cracks and steps in the side walk because I was trying to figure out where I was and I'm horrible at multi tasking. Armen tock it well, he wasn't injured. After 20 minutes of walking in circles I finally told Armen where I wanted to go, a favorite coffee shop of mine. He remembered where it was from the time when he could see and offered to help me find it. So with me giving him mostly accurate discriptions of the streets and landmarks we passed Armen the blind man, led me the blinder man to his favorite coffee shop. Where we shared tea, talked about God and celebrated our sight.
Jasen Frelot, 24
Seattle Wa.
From LA, Ca.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
6 Running with Ducks
Hey there,
Well, today (Nov 27th, 2009) had a blind walk!
Words can not describe the feelings I got from the walk. I am a kind of person that needs to be able to touch, hear and see. I was not sure if I could do a blink walk again (I had a short one 10 years ago) because I wasn't sure I could trust.
I was wrong. When I started guiding Armen, I decided to enjoy the experience instead of analyzing it. I work with/for small children (toddlers) and guiding wasn't that hard for me. I try doing it everyday with the children so I decided to use the same cues with Armen that I use with them. It worked! I felt comfortable around Armen and I felt we were in sync. I felt I did a lot of "cue talking" with him but I just wanted to share.
When it was my turn to be blind folded, I wasn't sure if I could let go the control. As I said before, I wasn't sure if I could trust someone that has just become my friend! Again, I told myself: "What can you lose?, test yourself!" I did! I was SURPRISED and PROUD of my progress through the walk. At the beginning, I started walking with not that much confidence and afraid of hurting someone else (we went to a big park here in the area, Greenlake and there is a LOT of people and dogs running, walking or riding bikes). Through my walk, I could feel how little by little I was letting go. I felt light, aware of my senses and safe. I was walking STRAIGHT around people with no guidance!!! That felt amazing!!!
I am grateful of having this experience. I am going to Mexico this Christmas. I want my mom and sisters to feel this as well. They are always very stressed and I think something like this will let them relax and "let go" for at least a couple of hours.
I will tell you later if this comes true. ;)
Thanks for reading!
Ix-Chel, 28
Mexican living in Seattle, Washington
Well, today (Nov 27th, 2009) had a blind walk!
Words can not describe the feelings I got from the walk. I am a kind of person that needs to be able to touch, hear and see. I was not sure if I could do a blink walk again (I had a short one 10 years ago) because I wasn't sure I could trust.
I was wrong. When I started guiding Armen, I decided to enjoy the experience instead of analyzing it. I work with/for small children (toddlers) and guiding wasn't that hard for me. I try doing it everyday with the children so I decided to use the same cues with Armen that I use with them. It worked! I felt comfortable around Armen and I felt we were in sync. I felt I did a lot of "cue talking" with him but I just wanted to share.
When it was my turn to be blind folded, I wasn't sure if I could let go the control. As I said before, I wasn't sure if I could trust someone that has just become my friend! Again, I told myself: "What can you lose?, test yourself!" I did! I was SURPRISED and PROUD of my progress through the walk. At the beginning, I started walking with not that much confidence and afraid of hurting someone else (we went to a big park here in the area, Greenlake and there is a LOT of people and dogs running, walking or riding bikes). Through my walk, I could feel how little by little I was letting go. I felt light, aware of my senses and safe. I was walking STRAIGHT around people with no guidance!!! That felt amazing!!!
I am grateful of having this experience. I am going to Mexico this Christmas. I want my mom and sisters to feel this as well. They are always very stressed and I think something like this will let them relax and "let go" for at least a couple of hours.
I will tell you later if this comes true. ;)
Thanks for reading!
Ix-Chel, 28
Mexican living in Seattle, Washington
Friday, November 27, 2009
5 Full Steam Ahead
Blind Walk thoughts
The idea was fresh and interesting; I didn't understand why Armen is willing to spend so much time and energy carrying this responsibility for a stranger.
My curiosity drove me to want to understand more about the project and its purpose. I recalled memories in my past life, the fight of miscommunication and misunderstandings; humanity and the world. It motivated me very much to look forward to this experience.
Darkness covered my brain, heart started to jump faster, the ceremony began. Every step felt like a ladder. I was ready to fall anytime. Very soon, I caught a light. The light was so strong, so bright and so powerful, I became relaxed. The touch and voice from the light was full of trust and protection. I was so surprised how fast I completely let myself go. Every part of me was in an entirely different world - peaceful, small, simple and joyful. There was no worry, no destination, and no fear. My inner energy was extremely active. Every object surrounding me became foreign, but the excitement and satisfaction of discovering kept me releasing all of the pain and sadness from underneath my heart. The voice of the city: cars, people and the pressure of the objects became my second guide. I was starting to research the world through my body. I was taking an adventure through my feeling and touch. I was discovering another side of beauty through the passion of my light.
Armen encouraged me to explore myself more. More challenges arrived: stairs - up and down, little jumps, plus my other personal challenge which were the high heels I was wearing. Everything in me was unfolding. I was conscious, concentrated, and aware, and Armen was even more conscious, more concentrated, and more aware than me. His lead made my stair journey easier than I thought it would be. Here comes the jump. I didn't know and couldn't see or touch the distance. The only stability I received was the generous protection and sincere trust from Armen. I gave my hands to him, j-u-m-p.
Armen's bright energy spread to me. My inner energy continued, exploring, exploring. I was climbing a statue freely, was following Armen's sound to catch his hand. I felt I was a little kid, single-minded, playing a catching game. The power of sound directed me and helped me catch him. Armen let me walk on the sidewalk with tiny, gentle touches once in a while to keep me on track. I followed his lead, like dance. No, it wasn't like dance, it was dance. Armen danced around me, I danced around him and other passers danced around us. We all danced together. All of a sudden everything was united in one big picture. We all connected with each other. The beauty of this art inspired me and I wanted to speed up the melody. I wanted my soul to travel, to fly, to cross the Pacific and to arrive in heaven with peace. I followed the light from inside of me and the light from Armen. We were running and running with laughter. I felt I am absolutely safe.
When my eyes were free, the natural light woke me up. Reality was welcoming me back, although I wasn't ready yet.
Then it was time to switch turns. After covering Armen's eyes, I found a different personality altogether. From the very beginning, the pressure of objects hardly made him stand straight. He focused on recognizing every object around him by his other senses. He could tell when a person passed, and if it was a man or a woman, by his careful listening. After a short while he walked at a normal pace, and at times I even forgot he was blind. He was extremely conscious and curious. He looked like a five year old kid. He lost his sense of security. He climbed everything his feet could reach. He walked straight forward into the busy street. It was great, delightful, to see the beauty of releasing into a natural state of being. At the same time, watching his actions helped me understand the way I was blind. Some of what he did was exactly what I did; perhaps I looked only 3 years old instead of 5. When he was leading me, everything I did felt like a big project but actually they were just very basic small movements which every normal child can easily do.
Every time when Armen approached the target I wanted, the satisfaction of every right step he made was hard to describe. I didn't realize that precise touch was so important. Once, my poor leading method stopped him one step too early. My carelessness came to visit us too. I assumed Armen would know to make a tiny step without my direction, but he almost fell down. I was moved when he was about to fall, because of the trust he invested in me. The responsibility I was entrusted with became heavy and deep, and there is no way to weigh or measure how that felt.
The entire experience definitely touched the string of my heart. The ceremony ended. The beauty of the art stayed with me. Experiencing the world through my body was amazing. Discovering myself through a new experience and other people was very special too. Appreciating the beauty of human nature was very valuable.
Seattle, Washington
by way of China
The idea was fresh and interesting; I didn't understand why Armen is willing to spend so much time and energy carrying this responsibility for a stranger.
My curiosity drove me to want to understand more about the project and its purpose. I recalled memories in my past life, the fight of miscommunication and misunderstandings; humanity and the world. It motivated me very much to look forward to this experience.
Darkness covered my brain, heart started to jump faster, the ceremony began. Every step felt like a ladder. I was ready to fall anytime. Very soon, I caught a light. The light was so strong, so bright and so powerful, I became relaxed. The touch and voice from the light was full of trust and protection. I was so surprised how fast I completely let myself go. Every part of me was in an entirely different world - peaceful, small, simple and joyful. There was no worry, no destination, and no fear. My inner energy was extremely active. Every object surrounding me became foreign, but the excitement and satisfaction of discovering kept me releasing all of the pain and sadness from underneath my heart. The voice of the city: cars, people and the pressure of the objects became my second guide. I was starting to research the world through my body. I was taking an adventure through my feeling and touch. I was discovering another side of beauty through the passion of my light.
Armen encouraged me to explore myself more. More challenges arrived: stairs - up and down, little jumps, plus my other personal challenge which were the high heels I was wearing. Everything in me was unfolding. I was conscious, concentrated, and aware, and Armen was even more conscious, more concentrated, and more aware than me. His lead made my stair journey easier than I thought it would be. Here comes the jump. I didn't know and couldn't see or touch the distance. The only stability I received was the generous protection and sincere trust from Armen. I gave my hands to him, j-u-m-p.
Armen's bright energy spread to me. My inner energy continued, exploring, exploring. I was climbing a statue freely, was following Armen's sound to catch his hand. I felt I was a little kid, single-minded, playing a catching game. The power of sound directed me and helped me catch him. Armen let me walk on the sidewalk with tiny, gentle touches once in a while to keep me on track. I followed his lead, like dance. No, it wasn't like dance, it was dance. Armen danced around me, I danced around him and other passers danced around us. We all danced together. All of a sudden everything was united in one big picture. We all connected with each other. The beauty of this art inspired me and I wanted to speed up the melody. I wanted my soul to travel, to fly, to cross the Pacific and to arrive in heaven with peace. I followed the light from inside of me and the light from Armen. We were running and running with laughter. I felt I am absolutely safe.
When my eyes were free, the natural light woke me up. Reality was welcoming me back, although I wasn't ready yet.
Then it was time to switch turns. After covering Armen's eyes, I found a different personality altogether. From the very beginning, the pressure of objects hardly made him stand straight. He focused on recognizing every object around him by his other senses. He could tell when a person passed, and if it was a man or a woman, by his careful listening. After a short while he walked at a normal pace, and at times I even forgot he was blind. He was extremely conscious and curious. He looked like a five year old kid. He lost his sense of security. He climbed everything his feet could reach. He walked straight forward into the busy street. It was great, delightful, to see the beauty of releasing into a natural state of being. At the same time, watching his actions helped me understand the way I was blind. Some of what he did was exactly what I did; perhaps I looked only 3 years old instead of 5. When he was leading me, everything I did felt like a big project but actually they were just very basic small movements which every normal child can easily do.
Every time when Armen approached the target I wanted, the satisfaction of every right step he made was hard to describe. I didn't realize that precise touch was so important. Once, my poor leading method stopped him one step too early. My carelessness came to visit us too. I assumed Armen would know to make a tiny step without my direction, but he almost fell down. I was moved when he was about to fall, because of the trust he invested in me. The responsibility I was entrusted with became heavy and deep, and there is no way to weigh or measure how that felt.
The entire experience definitely touched the string of my heart. The ceremony ended. The beauty of the art stayed with me. Experiencing the world through my body was amazing. Discovering myself through a new experience and other people was very special too. Appreciating the beauty of human nature was very valuable.
Seattle, Washington
by way of China
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
4 Melting Away Grumpiness
I started out the day grumpy. No way around that. It was cold, rainy, and gray and all of a sudden I noticed that my waterproof boots were no longer so. I wanted to cancel, I wanted to crawl into my bed and sleep off the day. I was simply in a foul mood. I called to rain check (no pun intended) and instead of letting it go easily Armen said he'd meet me half-way and we could decide then. I agreed. As we walked uphill he made me laugh and I became more at ease, felt some of the stress disappear. Then the rain slowed. I agreed to go through with the blind walk.
In the lobby of his building he explained the rules, essentially no direct explanation of where to walk but rather direction through touch or sound, and we were off! The rain had stopped completely and there was even some blue sky visible as he tightened his scarf across his face. I linked arms with him and guided him on sidewalks littered with fallen leaves, some massed in mountains that our footsteps trundled through and some scattered across the wet cement like brush strokes on a canvas. Orange leaves clung to darkened tree trunks as we walked and the wind blew. We passed by others who barely looked up, and certainly did not act as though they found it odd to see a girl with pink hair leading a blindfolded man towering above her. We discussed the meaning of sacred spaces, and the validity of these walks and connection to the world around. I led him through an alley lush with ivy and evergreens and our footsteps echoed through the breeze. He explored an abandoned shopping cart by a telephone pole, and I marveled at how much it reminded me of a child exploring a toy. We passed by a rose bush and I led him to smell the bloom, the thorns of which he forgot about and scratched his hand upon. We reached an empty lot overgrown with weeds and tagged by a giant smiling hamburger. He leaned against the not entirely sturdy wire fence, but managed not to fall. This is where we decided to switch.
The blindfold went on.
I was surprised at how easy it was to follow his lead. Minuscule changes in his hand registered before I thought and led me to go forward or to stop. I found myself hyper aware of his hand and yet displaced from reality. I could tell when we crossed streets or went up stairs, a surprisingly fun adventure, and I could hear as people walked by. When asked if they were male or female I found that I could actually tell which, when I trusted my instincts that is. We walked down an empty street and I could feel the difference of the pavement under my feet as well as hear the wind rushing through the trees. I could feel the fall, this is when I found a sacred space of my own to return to when I need clarity. He was more adventurous than I and led me to stand on rocks, explore structures, dance around objects (by his prompting, and fumble through a hedge. We walked by an Indian restaurant and I found myself surrounded in a world of intoxicating spices, shimmering bells, and bustling city.
I felt almost weightless.
And then it was over.
This experience was like a meditation, like taking time to experience the world as it is. As certain senses fade away, others become stronger and it is like discovering parts of yourself you did not even realize that you had forgotten. From the walk I am left wondering many things, but particularly this: when I led no one noticed or paid any mind to the two of us. Yet when he led I heard many people's happy laughter. Indeed, I was told that many who passed us smiled. What made for this difference?
By the end, my foul mood melted away as the cold after drinking warm tea.
-Terri, 22, Capitol Hill, Seattle, WA.
In the lobby of his building he explained the rules, essentially no direct explanation of where to walk but rather direction through touch or sound, and we were off! The rain had stopped completely and there was even some blue sky visible as he tightened his scarf across his face. I linked arms with him and guided him on sidewalks littered with fallen leaves, some massed in mountains that our footsteps trundled through and some scattered across the wet cement like brush strokes on a canvas. Orange leaves clung to darkened tree trunks as we walked and the wind blew. We passed by others who barely looked up, and certainly did not act as though they found it odd to see a girl with pink hair leading a blindfolded man towering above her. We discussed the meaning of sacred spaces, and the validity of these walks and connection to the world around. I led him through an alley lush with ivy and evergreens and our footsteps echoed through the breeze. He explored an abandoned shopping cart by a telephone pole, and I marveled at how much it reminded me of a child exploring a toy. We passed by a rose bush and I led him to smell the bloom, the thorns of which he forgot about and scratched his hand upon. We reached an empty lot overgrown with weeds and tagged by a giant smiling hamburger. He leaned against the not entirely sturdy wire fence, but managed not to fall. This is where we decided to switch.
The blindfold went on.
I was surprised at how easy it was to follow his lead. Minuscule changes in his hand registered before I thought and led me to go forward or to stop. I found myself hyper aware of his hand and yet displaced from reality. I could tell when we crossed streets or went up stairs, a surprisingly fun adventure, and I could hear as people walked by. When asked if they were male or female I found that I could actually tell which, when I trusted my instincts that is. We walked down an empty street and I could feel the difference of the pavement under my feet as well as hear the wind rushing through the trees. I could feel the fall, this is when I found a sacred space of my own to return to when I need clarity. He was more adventurous than I and led me to stand on rocks, explore structures, dance around objects (by his prompting, and fumble through a hedge. We walked by an Indian restaurant and I found myself surrounded in a world of intoxicating spices, shimmering bells, and bustling city.
I felt almost weightless.
And then it was over.
This experience was like a meditation, like taking time to experience the world as it is. As certain senses fade away, others become stronger and it is like discovering parts of yourself you did not even realize that you had forgotten. From the walk I am left wondering many things, but particularly this: when I led no one noticed or paid any mind to the two of us. Yet when he led I heard many people's happy laughter. Indeed, I was told that many who passed us smiled. What made for this difference?
By the end, my foul mood melted away as the cold after drinking warm tea.
-Terri, 22, Capitol Hill, Seattle, WA.
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